What If: Special CM-Cena Edition

wwe ice cream bar pop sandwich cm punk raw

CM Punk. He’s all I can talk about. Over the weekend when I was visiting my mom, I told her all about Punk. When I was taking a walk with my 5 year old nephew, I was telling him why Sunday’s show might be the best in his and my lifetime. Tonight I was talking to the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen and within minutes, I was explaining to her why CM Punk is amazing. Yes, this current angle is that compelling. If you’ve read only one sentence on our site over the past 3 weeks, there is still a 90% chance it mentioned or referred to CM Punk. This Sunday is Money in the Bank and at the risk of overstating, this might be one of the top 5 most important nights in WWE history. Punk will be center stage. A lot of things can happen. Here are some possible scenarios with a healthy dose of fanboy booking…

Punk Loses and Leaves
I’ve avoided the dirtsheets left and right. If there is a secret new contract in place, I want no part of knowing about it. With that said, this option is the most lackluster but still on the table. Cena could find a way to win, like he always does, and Punk could on his way out. WWE would then be right back where they started: stale story, overexposed top face and suddenly without the hottest commodity in prowrestling. If he has no intentions of staying, there is no way WWE let’s him win. If Punk does leave, what happens? Anything is possible. ESPN and ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel might be legitimately interested in interviewing him. He could be the biggest name in wrestling without belonging to any company. TNA and RoH would on a per appearance basis, so he could conceivably show up there to continue the Summer of Punk even if it’s only for a few weeks.

Punk Wins and Leaves
Punk has officially cemented himself as face with his actions Monday, throw in the fact that he’s in his hometown and the pop he’s going to get will be astonishing.  I said above that he can’t win then leave, but he can win then go on hiatus. At the end of his segment on Monday, Punk said he was tired. There’s a dose of truth to that. Unlike NBA, MLB, NFL and NHL players, WWE guys don’t get an off season. Punk might sign a contract, take a break for a few months then come back.

Punk Loses and Stays
He can’t leave. WWE just can’t let him. If he wins the title, John Cena gets fired and then Punk doesn’t walk away, the whole angle will seem pointless. So how does the losing and staying angle work? Ladies and gents, I direct your attention to the Montreal Screwjob. Vince could come out and screw Punk out of the title. Enraged, Punk could return to Raw the following night as a ‘free-agent’, continuing his assault of Vince, Cena and subsequently the entire WWE Creative Team. This might set up a rematch with better stipulations at Summerslam, a much more appropriate stage for such a massive storyline.

Punk Wins then Loses then Leaves
Mike mentioned to me and I believe on this blog the possibility of a MitB winner cashing in their briefcase that night in an effort to keep the title in the company. Seeing as how Rey Mysterio was absent from Monday’s MitB segment and a longtime Punk rival, he might be the prime candidate to do such a thing. He’s a face who could claim that he did it to keep tradition alive or something of that nature. It’d be bittersweet but it remains a real possibility.

Punk Wins and Stays
Punk is nearing his Austin 3:16 moment. He’s craved an unbelievable legacy for himself in 3 short weeks. There is no way the WWE can not keep him around. Monday night he began to take on a ‘voice of the people’ gimmick. Out of spite, he could sign a contract on TV right after Vince has fired Cena. Let Punk GTS Vince and we’ve officially turn a corner on a mostly mundane era in WWE history. Naturally this is the scenario I prefer the best.

Fan Boy Booking Bullet Points
If I had the ability to book this main event, it’d go just like this…

  • Punk wins
  • Vince comes to fire Cena
  • Cena begs or barters, aligning himself with heel Vince and turning heel in the process
  • Vince forges an unholy partnership with Cena
  • Vince tells security that Punk can’t leave with the belt because he’s not under contract
  • Punk says he did sign a contract, but not with Vince, he signed it with him…
  • Punk points up, the GM’s ringtone chimes and the lights flicker
  • Cole gets up and walking towards the podium. “I’ve received an email from the Anonymous Raw GM…and I quote…”

Vincent Kennedy McMahon. Because of your massive ego you’re about to let the greatest wrestler in the world walk out of your company. Realizing that Punk’s departure puts the WWE and my job in danger, I’ve exercised my rights as Raw GM to negotiate a new contract with CM Punk. He will receive his jet, a brand new belt and will be featured on all WWE merchandise from here on forth including WWE Superstar Ice Cream Bars. I’ve successfully run the Raw brand via email for a year now but I’ve realized this situation required a hands on approach. It required special care. It required something unprecedented. It required something extreme.

  • Punk turns towards the entrance way and smiles as Vince is fuming in the ring
  • The ECW theme hits and Paul Heyman emerges with Colt Cobana and Luke Gallows in tow. All 4 men embrace as MitB goes off the air…

Soooo….
I have no idea what’s going to happen, but my goodness it could be great.

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