The Saturdays of my childhood were marked by great television. Growing up in the 90’s, the mornings held such delights as X-Men: The Animated Series and The Tick. In reality, though, the cartoons were just foreplay for the awesomeness of the evening’s programming. Every Saturday at six o’clock sharp you could find me seated directly in front of the television set, glued to all of the action transpiring on WCW Saturday Night. The moment the intro would start to roll, the one that showcased wrestlers being built by methods not unlike those used by Skynet to produce their Terminators, I’d become giddy with anticipation. Scott Hudson, Lee Marshall, and “The Professor” Mike Tenay would serve as joint MC’s for the weekend extravaganza while that wily Mean Gene would encourage me to reach into my parents’ pockets to call his hotline. For two hours every Saturday, without fail, I’d sit wide-eyed and watch my favorite wrestlers invade my living room.
The only downside to WCW Saturday Night was that my favorite wrestlers weren’t wrestling each other. No, it was seldom that you’d see Raven take on Diamond Dallas Page or Chris Benoit put on a clinic with Booker T on World Championship Wrestling’s C-show. Those types of matches were generally reserved for Nitro, and later, Thunder. But if they weren’t wrestling each other, who would they face? They had to wrestle somebody, right? Enter the jobber. All so generic, yet almost magically, all so unique. Their mullets and sequined jackets endeared them to us, and whether we like to admit it or not, we all had our favorites. You won’t find Yugi Nagata, Ernest “The Cat” Miller, or Sick Boy here. Nay, they are all too highbrow for this list. These are the men who, week in and week out, would step through the futuristic sliding doors, prance their way through a the heavy fog that was always emitted from the entry way, and promptly receive a spear and jackhammer for their troubles. It’s a dirty job, but somebody had to do it.
10. High Voltage
High Voltage had the most potential of anybody on this list. Looking at them, you could easily believe that either man could experience a Scott Steiner-ish breakout; they certainly had the physiques. Unfortunately for Rage & Kaos, their biggest career win might have been against “Hard Work” Bobby Walker and “Beautiful” Bobby Eaton. Not exactly the stuff of legend.
9. Mark Starr
Mark Starr is one of the few jobbers on this list to have pay-per-view experience on his resume, losing to the likes of Alex Wright, Sgt. Craig Pittman, & Road Warrior Hawk over a string of PPVs in 1995. He’ll be most fondly remembered, however, as part of a tag team with Chris Kanyon, known collectively as Men at Work. The pair of construction workers may have been successful if not for Kanyon’s penchant for taking measurements with his tape measure at critical points of their matches. Poor Mark Starr, who knows what could have been?
8. El Dandy
Prior to El Dandy, I had been taught that luchadors were high-flying small guys in masks. And then, the rules change. El Dandy, or as the non-Spanish speaking fan might like to say, The Dandy, was none of those things. He was portly, maskless, and if I remember correctly, his primary moves included being punched and kicked by slightly more successful jobbers. El Dandy’s inclusion on this list is a representation of WCW’s low-card lucha contingency; guys like Silver King and Super Calo were omitted to avoid redundancy.
7. Rick Fuller
Rick Fuller was The Giant’s favorite whipping boy. Sometimes, it almost seemed like WCW granted Paul Wight his own personal jobber in the form of this oaf. Somehow, despite his rich history of losing, Fuller managed to find himself included as a playable character in multiple WCW video games for the original Playstation. Then again, a snowman named Whitey and an actual bear were part of the selectable rosters, too.
6. Chris Adams
“The Gentleman” Chris Adams was a “world-renowned wrestler,” as Tenay would often remind us, but that doesn’t change the fact that he was strictly used as an enhancement talent in WCW. Wrestling most (all?) of his matches on Saturday nights, Chris Adams’ two biggest feuds were with Glacier (with whom he fought over who had the better superkick) and with Chip Minton. That’s right folks. Chip Minton.
5. Hardbody Harrison
Sometimes Hardbody Harris, sometimes Hardbody Harrison, this dude was a jobber through and through. Amazingly, he struggled even more in the real world than he did inside the squared circle. In 2008, old Hardbody here was sentenced to life in prison on account of holding women as prisoners and forcing them into prostitution. Other charges brought against him: conspiracy, witness tampering, and aggravated sexual abuse. Maybe he should have stuck to putting over Meng.
4. Disorderly Conduct
The parts were greater than the whole when it came to Disorderly Conduct; the best aspect of their team were their individual ring names. Tough Tom & Mean Mike were Saturday Night staples, and outside of the laughs to be had at the expense of their inadvertently comedic awfulness, they brought virtually nothing to the table.
3. The Gambler
The Gambler has a clear leg up on every other enhancement talent on this list: props. It was rare enough for a mid-90s jobber to have an actual gimmick, but for a perpetual loser to carry items to the ring with him to further his character? Unheard of! The Gambler was to can’t-buy-a-win-hopeless-last-string jobbers what Gallagher was to standup comedy. He tried hard, and by constantly flashing playing cards at the camera, he made sure we never forgot that he was a…um…gambler?
2. Road Block
Weighing in at #2 is another prop-wielding curtain jerker, Road Block. Road Block, known simply as Block to his friends, was the perfect “big guy” jobber. Look at him. His straggly dirty blonde mop. His pasty white complexion and flabby breasts. His enthusiasm over carrying his namesake to the ring. He’s a model for every young aspiring jobber whose frame is big enough to fit the mold. This one’s for you, Mr. Block.
1. Jerry Flynn
Jerry Flynn, the little jobber that could. What endeared me to Jerry Flynn was the fact that he had seemingly no knowledge of his role within the company. Refusing to accept that he would always be low man on the WCW totem pole, Flynn did everything he could to distance himself from the rest of the bum squad. He jawed at the fans whenever he approached the ring, trying to generate heat. He got a fancy new ring robe. He even started a program with Tank Abbott towards the end of the promotion’s lifespan, a feud whose payoff match culminated with Flynn being knocked out in under two minutes. Despite his best efforts to shed the stigma, Jerry Flynn will always be remembered as Goldberg’s primary source of streak fodder. Dude had to account for at least 60 of The Man’s 173 wins. But hey, Jerry Flynn believed in Jerry Flynn, so I believed in Jerry Flynn, which is why he’s honored here with a picture from Monday Nitro. If you say you’re too good for Saturday Nights, Jer, then you have my support.
And with that, our list of WCW Saturday Night’s biggest jobbers is complete. Who was your favorite regular Saturday night competitor? Any Joey Maggs fans in the house? Did you absolutely adore Mike Enos? If a jobber close to your heart was omitted from this list, fear not; for perhaps someday we will feature a companion piece listing WCW World Wide’s sorriest saps.