No, Hulk Hogan is not starring in a video game alongside Pikachu, although I wish that was the case. Instead, he’s going to be the star of a new game for the Xbox 360’s Kinect, and it sounds really, really dumb. This is an excerpt from the official press release announcing the game:
“Listen up, people! You will feel the power of Hulkamania when you step into this game,” said Hulk Hogan. “Whether you are taking the damage or selling the pain, this game will let you unleash your inner wrestler as you hype up the crowd while putting the hurt on anyone that stands in your way!”
The release goes on to state that players will be required to imitate Hogan’s trademark poses and perform his, and I quote, “extreme moves” and “devastating combos.” Pretty sure the only combo Hogan has ever strung together was his big boot followed by a leg drop, and there’s nothing extreme about that. He’s also never “sold the pain.” Hogan has stunk for a long time now, and it’s not just because his health is deteriorating. He whores himself out to anyone willing to pay, which is why he’s on ads for Rent-a-Center and was the star of a reality series on VH1 before that. This game is going to be nothing but another way for Hogan to make a buck by slapping his ugly mug on the front of something. Mark my words: the only good thing that will ever come out of it is it leading me to these pictures of Hulk with assorted Pokemon.