Welp, 51-year-old Sting is the new TNA Heavyweight Champion of the World. He returned last night on Impact to take on (and defeat) Jeff Hardy. He wore a ring robe that I have to assume Lord Stephen Regal got out of storage for him, had sequins on his ring attire, and his facepaint had a hint of Road Warrior in it. For his age, he still looked good. TNA having a champion 20 years the senior of WWE’s champ makes me question their thought process a little bit, but for now it works.
Also on the show, Jeff Jarrett and his wife Karen renewed their vows, even if it took two attempts. Kurt Angle crashed the wedding the first time, attacking Jeff and slamming his ex-wife’s head into the cake. Later in the night, he behaved himself long enough for the couple to get through the ceremony, but as soon as the service came to a conclusion he destroyed the arrangement with an ax. Despite the two wedding segments, Bart Scott acting the fool, and every wrestler on the roster referring to North Carolina as “North Cackalacky,” Impact was still miles better than this week’s Raw. More thoughts after the jump.
- The court ruled in Hulk Hogan’s favor, making him the big cheese at TNA Wrestling and making Dixie Carter unemployed. I honestly have no idea why Hulk is still on TV. At this stage in the game, he gets popped when he returns after a long hiatus, but having him appear weekly does nothing to enhance the product.
- Later in the show, while speaking to Mr. Anderson, Hogan referenced body slamming a 700 lb. giant. Seven. Hundred. Pounds. What?
- Bart Scott was played a part in a couple of segments, all of which were awful. He was portrayed as Immortal’s heavy and was used to threaten Kurt Angle. Eventually, Angle silence him by throwing him in the Ankle Lock. Don’t get me wrong, Bart Scott is a big dude, and I certainly wouldn’t want to fight him. But I’m pretty sure if he went head-to-head with Angle 100 times, he’d come out on the losing end 100 times.
- Beer Money beat Immortal’s Gunner & Murphy to retain the Tag Team Titles in a fun little match. It was action packed from bell to bell, and it did a great job of getting the crowd into things. Kudos to both teams. Post match, the weirdos from Ink Inc. came to the top of the ramp and challenged Beer Money to a match at Victory Road. Roode & Storm obliged.
- Velvet Sky put her career on the line in a match against Sarita, and lucky for her, she came out on top. Angelina Love and Rosita both got the boot towards the end of this one. The match seemed a little rushed, but it was certainly better than the Divas Battle Royal from Raw on Monday. Post match, Cookie & Robbie E hit the ring along with Angelina of Jersey Shore fame. After a quick confrontation with The Beautiful People, a 6-Knockout match was made for next week, but unless I’m missing something, it wasn’t too clear exactly who would be competing.
- Hernandez and Matt Morgan had a really entertaining match for two big men. It ended in a disqualification when Hernandez busted his former tag team partner open on the ring steps, but this match was more to set the stage for something bigger than it was to settle the score. I’m excited to see where things go between these two.
- Scott Steiner went over Rob Terry with the Steiner Recliner. I’ve never been a big fan of the super muscle men type wrestlers, and these two are no different. The match was sufficient I guess, although I don’t really see the point. Scott Steiner is in the twilight of his career, I don’t think he’s too much of a draw anymore, and putting him over anybody is a foggy decision in my book.
That’s pretty much the show. Two tries at a wedding, Bart Scott, the Jersey Shore, Sting’s return, Hogan as boss, and 5 matches. Pretty packed 2 hours. As I already said, I think Impact was better than Raw this week. It was also a step up from the last couple of Impacts, despite the questionable decision to make Sting the Champion once again. I’m looking forward to the conclusion of the Hernandez / Matt Morgan feud, and I like the way their developing Anderson’s pursuit of the title. One gripe I have with this week’s show is the lack of Madison Rayne. No Madison makes me a sad panda.